2010: THE YEAR ENDER POST

Ayun! SABOG na DAMDAMIN! (Lemme borrow this one, from Ms. Yeng ) That’s the right term to describe this indescribable feeling… Indescribable nga but I still got the term.. LOL. Anyways, here comes again the time of the month ( no! not the girl thing! Haha ), where in I’ve got to put everything that struck this clumsy yet strong headed girl in this Year ender Post!

Let me say that 2010, is more than just a roller coaster ride!

It was in the year 2010 where in Christina turns nineteen, probably the last year of having a ‘teen’ on her age ( Next year I’m turning TwenTEEN. LOL ). Well, who would have ever thought that the saddest month of the year would be also the month of my birthday? I was really struggling on almost everything… with my family… some of my friends… my faith…. My self…. Well cliché sounding? But you know what? Past is past, what we have now from the past are the thing that we had “learned”. Whether you lose or you win, at the end of the day the most important thing is that you fight for it and yes you surpassed it. 2010 also opens up a lot of new things to me… I and my family? We were drawn closer to each other. Although I know there’s no such thing as perfect. My friends? oh God how badly I was fooled and blinded searching for awesomeness to someone else’s but hey look who has the greatest friends in the world! Yep, ako yun! Haha… I’m not bragging, I just feel so blessed that I have the wackiest, craziest yet the sweetest friends in the world! I love both my Highschool and College friends. At siyempre, who also would have thought that I might be able to find true friends with totally strangers? Some may raise an eye from this but you know what I’m truly blessed that despite the inevitable danger of trusting people “on-line” I still found the coolest and the nicest people. I’m eagerly and positively hoping that someday we will meet each other. They’re the awesomest! I’m really thankful to God I have my family and friends. In 2010, My passion for music grew deeper, Well I guess not only with music but I think with the gift of Art itself. I know I will still be able to handle and develop my crafts in the coming years.

But one thing that truly inspires me a lot is that on this year, I somehow felt the importance of my existence, the reason why I’m living. It’s not all about how I end up being happy. It is more like being able to also make others happy. In year 2010, I feel God’s presence every single day. He was there especially when I was caught off guard about some crazy happenings that I don’t even know why it’s happening. Matagal na siyang kumakatok, and I tell you kapag papansinin mo lang, walang kapantay na ligaya at pag-asa ang hatid niya sayo.

I’m so thankful to God that although I don’t have the best of everything I still have my family, my friends, and some people whom I happen to know, people who take a part in my day to day life or those who had happen to come in my life.

Gaya nga ng pinaniniwalaan ko, lahat ng tao may connection sa bawat isa, yun tipo nga lang na makakasakay mo sa jeep may reason kung bakit sa dinamedame ng tao sa mundo siya yung makakasama mo.

2010 surely made me cry, laugh, just like anything that goes around. Although we have done a lot of mistakes, or even repeatedly done mistakes in our past years we still got the chance to make things right in the year 2011, we’ve got the rest of our lives to continuously learn. New Year does not always define ‘the end’ I guess it is better if we look at it as a “New Beginning” that means “New Hopes”.

I just want to share the message in one of the application I have at my Facebook.

….that if you relax, it comes. Don't seek, don't search, don't ask, don't knock, don't demand - relax. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, God shows you the way.

Surely in God’s plan and will, everything will gonna fall on its proper place. So I guess somehow it is good to slow down a bit.

To all my loved ones, beware I’m gonna love you all for the rest of my life! Haha…

Let us all rock out loud this coming new year!!!

God bless everyone!

Have a prosperous NEW YEAR.

~xtina

NEW BANNER

New Banner FTW! LOL :)

PARAMORE NO MORE: JOSH&ZAC OFFICIAL STATEMENT

Just recently we, Paramore fans were doomed by the sad news that Josh and Zac officially decided to leave the band Paramore. And yeah it was confirmed by Hayley, Taylor and Jeremy's official statement a couple of days ago. And now, finally to leave our mind at rest, why did the Farro brothers decided to leave the band, here is their official statement. (From JoshFarro 's blogspot)

Hey guys,

Let me start by apologizing to you for the way everything went down on Saturday. I had a statement typed ready to post to you guys but Hayley released one without my permission. We were not going to issue a statement until we worked out our exit agreement with Hayley. I wish it didn’t have to happen that way, Zac and I wanted to be the ones you heard it from. I want to be honest with you guys about how this band formulated from day one. I did not think Hayley’s version told the whole story, at least from our perspective and hopefully this will explain a bit about why we are leaving.

Zac and I had a garage band in high school with the intentions of just making music for the love of it. We met Taylor and our friend Jason Clark at our school and found out that we shared the same musical tastes. So, we asked them to join our band. It was some of the greatest times of our lives playing music in Taylor’s basement with them. We obviously needed a lead singer and one day Zac met Hayley. We asked her to come try out and eventually to join the band.

Months down the road things changed and this band became all about Hayley. She had a manager at the time that controlled her every move along with her parents. They didn’t like the idea of Hayley being in a rock band so they forced her to leave wanting her to pursue a solo career.

Hayley went off to write and record her solo demos while the four of us continued on without her. A couple of months later Hayley came and asked us if she could use the song “Conspiracy” that we had all previously written together. We agreed that that would be fine. I got a call a while after that from Hayley telling me that her manager said that Zac and I were invited to be back in the band (the band we started), but not Taylor and Jason because they weren’t good enough in his eyes. Hayley brought in Jeremy and our first rhythm guitarist Jason Bynum as the other two members.

We travelled to LA a few weeks later for a showcase and it was a nightmare. Hayley’s manager would tell the band to be in the lobby of the hotel at a certain time, but he and Hayley wouldn’t show for hours. We found out that they had been meeting with record label executives all morning without us, which is totally weird given that this wasn’t simply a solo artist, but we were a band. The band was in the dark the whole time. After many meetings between Hayley, her manager and the labels they decided to sign her to Atlantic records. We didn’t understand why Hayley was the only one signing the contract since we were told this was a “band”, but we were too young to grasp all of this. So far, Zac and I haven’t signed with another label, although I guess our part of Paramore sure could. Next thing we knew we were having a signing party for Hayley.

Our next move was to rerecord her solo demos with our own music rather than studio musicians to make it sound more genuine. Meanwhile, we tossed around band names. I wrote out a list of names, including “Paramore”, a name my old band with Taylor and Jason Clark had thought about using. Obviously, we settled on that name. The label received the rerecorded demos and once again tried to fire the entire band, saying we were terrible. Thankfully Hayley and I had been writing some new songs together (Hallelujah, Here We Go Again) that the label was pleased with so that acted as leverage for the band to stay. The label and management then decided to build our band up the grass-roots route. They put Hayley on Fueled by Ramen not making it known she was signed to Atlantic as well. All the while we still questioned whether or not we were an actual band, but Hayley continued to insist we were, despite our being ignored and pushed around by the label.

They then sent us all to Orlando to rehearse and write eight hours a day for our first record. Half -way though this process, Jeremy decided to quit. We were all really upset about it. So we finished the record, replaced Jeremy, and hit the road with Hayley’s father as our tour manager/driver of a twelve-passenger van. Her dad would constantly threaten to “pull the plug” on the whole band if we complained about anything, suggesting that we were hired guns and Hayley was the real artist, when in reality we were also part of the band. We’ve always been treated as less important than Hayley. It’s been obvious how her family views things.

Jeremy ended up rejoining and we toured non-stop for two and half years building our fan base, pretending to be a band that started naturally. In reality, what started as natural somehow morphed into a manufactured product of a major label, riding on the coattails of “Hayley’s dream.”

Before recording our next record, we kicked out Jeremy for his lack of work ethic and participation in things that Zac, Hayley and I didn’t agree with. At this point it was just the three of us to record Riot. Once the record was done, we needed a bassist and another guitarist. Eventually Zac and I convinced Hayley to let Taylor rejoin and she convinced us to let Jeremy back in, promising he had changed his ways.

Once again we hit the road and toured on our biggest record as a band. As you all know Hayley and I dated and broke up during this album cycle. Things then started going downhill for our band. Hayley and Jeremy’s views started changing from what we all once believed in. The band almost split after cancelling a tour in Europe, but we managed to keep it together somehow. This is when Zac and I started to consider quitting the band.

Once we finished touring on Riot, we came home for a break and started writing for Brand New Eyes. Hayley presented lyrics to us that were really negative and we didn’t agree with. For example, “the truth never set me free”, which contradicts what the Bible says in John 8:32 (“and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall sat you free”). We fought her about how her lyrics misrepresented our band and what we stood for, but in the end she got her way. Instead of fighting her any longer, we decided to just roll over and let it go.

Hayley claimed that this record reunited us as band and made us grow closer together, when in reality we were all growing further apart. Suddenly the band had spilt into two sides. Touring became more difficult since we couldn’t agree on anything. The friendships our band once had were no longer existent. Amos 3:3 says, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction”. In addition to the band turmoil, touring had really taken its toll on us both. We left home at such a young age and missed taking part in normal teenage years. When you own part of a band and are constantly playing, you make sacrifices. Touring has taken its toll on our family members as well. I specifically remember many moments where our parents would break down in tears when we had to leave. It broke my heart. Seeing our siblings grow up so much during our absences was never easy either.

After a lot a prayer and counsel Zac and I came to the decision that it was time to leave the band. We truly feel that God is leading us elsewhere and is going to do great things with us. The intention of this statement was not to belittle or disgrace the rest of the band, it was simply to clarify our decision for leaving and our desire to finally tell you guys the truth. We are still hoping to work out a friendly way to leave our part of Paramore intact with the remaining band members, including Hayley.

We want to thank you guys for all of your love and support over the past 7 years. It’s been an honor creating and playing music for you. If music is what God calls us to in the future, we hope that you all will be a part of it.

All of the glory be to God,

Josh and Zac

I just don't know which side am I gonna take now. But one thing for sure that I agree the most, "THE TRUTH WILL SET US FREE" :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Waaah..it's Christmas time!! Merry Christmas everyone! :)
To God be the Glory!
Happy Birthday Dear Jesus! :))

PARAMORE DISBANDING?

And I thought I will be able to watch them together live, I guess I have to turn down the thought of it, especially now that it is official; the Farro brothers has decided to leave the group. And it is so heartbreaking. :’(

Source/s: http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/josh_and_zac_farro_leave_paramore/

Well I guess paramore is not yet done, as Hayley along with Taylor and Jeremy stays and plans to continue what they have started, it was disappointing though that the Farro brothers decided to leave since they were the one who founded the band itself, well I guess as a fan, we must respect their decision.

Long live Paramore!

Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?
I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this!
It's not a dream anymore! Ohhh..
It's not a dream anymore! It’s worth fighting for.

God knows the world doesn’t need another band, (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)
But what a waste it would’ve been! (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)
I can't believe we almost hung it up (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)
We're just getting started (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)

If you’re a paramore fan, you’ll definitely understand those lines clearly.. aww it really breaks my heart now! :'(

YENG CONSTANTINO ROCKS SUBIC

So this is it!

Finally last December 11, 2010 I was able to jump in along the crowd with my fellow Olangapeños as Yeng Constantino rock our night with her awesome show held at Night Market Subic! This is actually my second time seeing her performing live on stage. I just want to give my special shout out to my friends who were with me that night, Julie, Mhay, Kim and Ashley (lol), thanks guys you’re the sweetest! Thanks for accompanying me, sinamahan niyo pa rin ako kahit mild fan lang kayo ni Yeng! LOL.

We went to the venue as early as 7pm, because for sure lots of people would want to see Yeng so it is better if we save our spot, plus we still want to walk around at the theme park. My friends want it badly to ride ‘Taga Disco’ and I was like thinking if riding it would kill me. hehe.. I somehow see myself to the Korean girl whom I think almost died riding it. LOL. I still need to find some courage to ride it next time! LOL. So there after going around the theme park we headed back at the concert venue, we’ve found the perfect spot and somehow we felt delighted at the early shows they have, like singing contest and bikini pageant. Yep, Bikini pageant! Emphasize to the BIKINI… LOL. (para kasing di bagay diba… bikini pageant and rock show? Hmm.. haha) I’m so excited for Yeng to show up that night, well yun naman talaga pinunta namen dun right, not the bikini pageant… haha… so there good things comes to those who patiently waits, at 10:30pm I saw Morning Glory setting up on stage! It was my first time seeing the rest of the band.

And yeah, finally Yeng showed up!!! She was so gorgeous in her outfit! You’ll just have to love her “Jesus is my friend-shirt” plus her skull printed jacket (reminds me of Sunako.. hehe)! The crowd went wild as Yeng greeted us with her awesome performance of her very own hit song “time in”. The crowd just couldn’t help but to sing along. The next song she sang was My Girl’s OST, “Sabihin mo na”.

Yeng also shows her wacky side, as she delighted the crowd with her witty and funny spiels. I just love her spiels! While introducing her next song, who would have forgotten this line that night, I quote here (not verbatim though), “Yung next na kakantahin ko eh themesong ng isang teleserye na kung saan may isang babaeng seksi, parang ako lang…*laugh* … napakakinis at napakaganda… *crowd-cheers* nangangarap lang.. minsan lang yun eh.. pwede ba? *laugh* this is from.. DYOSA”. She also did some awesome renditions of phenomenal OPM songs such as "Magasin" and "Hinahanap-hanap Kita", from Eraserheads and Rivermaya respectively. I remember, she also sang “Laklak” though I really wish that she finish singing it, then OMO the next song was my favorite song “Jeepney Lovestory”, it was supposed to be her last song but the crowd insisted for “Hawak Kamay”. The crowd went singing as Yeng gratefully granted the request and sang the song that made who she is now or put her to where she is now as she said herself. This was actually my favorite part. One thing I really like about Yeng is that she never fails to praise God whenever she performs. Somehow I know this is the reason why God uses Yeng to inspire and to touch lives with just the way she is and through her music. It was indeed a splendid full of rock night that I will never forget. Like hello I’m a big fan here. :D She is truly an amazing performer with a big heart! I really couldn’t put it into words on how happy I am that night, that was an awesome early Christmas treat! Thank you papa God.

Here’s the Video:

here's another video, credit to the owner

“Di bale ng maging ASTIG, wag lang PASAWAY!” ~Yeng

Self Esteem

While others feel so highly conceited, you are busy looking down at yourself. You'll be fine with just the way you are.

Flaws everyone has it.

Self esteem -others might take it from you, but you know you'll always have the chance to take it back. You just have to learn to love and appreciate yourself. :)

Just a thought for a friend who always looks down to herself.

DREAM FOR REAL?

Hey let us talk about dreams today. Dreams are somehow the manifestation of suppressed feelings? Is it true? Well I guess, yes! LOL. Well, I dunno but I hope not. Why? Later on I’ll discuss that stuff. Last night I have embrace another weird dream. Weird in a sense, that I actually remember it right now, because most of the time, I always forgot what on earth I have dream about while I was sleeping. One more thing, I woke up with a happy smile. eeeeeee.. ♥

My dream was about this particular person… Hmm.. ‘guess who?’ LOL. Somehow in my life, I think I like him. (Hey I can see you’re smiling! Stop it, it’s not what you think it is! lol). You see, I rather choose gummy bears over him! Well-uhmm that was I thought before. WTF past tense Tina? What happen now? Seriously!! Si crazy bleep bleep ba ito? Dream on!!!Haha. Well seriously, the thing that got me talking about this stuff is that just last night, yeah last night, I have this weirdest and wackiest dream about this particular guy. Usually in real life he uses to hang out with a group, but in my dream? WTF he’s a freakin emo! I mean alone. Haha.. So there, He was actually sitting right next to me, while I’m busy copying lecture. (WTF emphasize to the FUDGE! He’s not even my classmate!!!! ) . We talked about ‘amplifier –stuff’. (Gaah.. pansin ko lang, I’m mixing up school lectures with almost everything in my life these past days…. Lol). He ask this blah blah.. I asked him blah blah blah.. (weird, how come he became so interested in amplifier?? Haha) . And that’s the end of a boring dream. Pardon me. That’s all what had happened, we just talked.

The weird thing is the feeling that I’ve got the moment I woke up while remembering this dream. I ain’t supposed to like the feeling, but damn I’m so happy. Ok, before, He was part of the crowd. Now, all of a suddenly, he’s the superstar! WTF, Idiomatic as it sounds, but that is pretty much of what had happened. I don’t know all of a suddenly I started feeling or acting this way. One thing for sure, it is because of this lousy and boring dream of mine. But why?? Kaya nga I’m asking, does dreams pertain to a suppressed feelings? If yes, how on earth did I ever managed to blind myself that much like I almost end up clueless on what I really feel. This is crazy, at the same time nausea!

Maybe I really like him from the start, It’s just that I’m too busy thinking how we can’t be together. Hmm.

TRANSISTOR TESTER SUBMISSION –EPIC!

I’m doing this to let myself somehow ease the feeling of disappointment I gained on this day. Ok so here’s what happen. We have to submit our project today, the last time I checked I was too damn confident about it. But to my dismay, on the last minute mine fails! I never anticipated that such thing would happen today… though this morning I have this weirdest thought of something ‘unwanted’ will happen this afternoon. Damn, I have a pretty accurate intuition, almost all of the time! So there, in my panicky appearance I rushed up and fixed it as fast as I could. I want also to take this chance to thank Kuya Drei, for helping us throughout this project. A better credit for him will be given on January 5, as I quote Lhei, “Kuya Drei, sa January 5 na lang.. sweldo ko yun!”. And this “Siyempre, malilimutan ko ba kayo Julie at Tinai, you guys will have to splurge my sweldo, eating everything you wish!” Obviously the latter is only a wishful thinking. So there, I somehow managed to fix it right on time then class starts. Our instructor welcomes the class with the thought that once again will have to build another project. This time, an amplifier. Yeah Big Time! The part that I hate the most came, checking of transistor. Actually I don’t even have the slightest idea that the checking of tester would be so brutal (haha.. sorry for the term.. kinda feel that way… or am I just exaggerating everything? LOL). First we have to check for the packaging. And oh yes, checking of it includes dropping it 12 inches high above the table, and I was like WTF? Do we really need to do that? I feel a sudden brush of cold chills runs up on my spine as I remember my case won’t fit, so it means screwing won’t help to make my tester’s case stable and sturdy. So when I dropped it.. kablam… it almost fell open, and I’ve got this heartbreaking words form our instructor. “Christina… ayusin mo yan…. Hindi properly mounted yung case..” she exclaimed in her disappointedly tone of voice. It feels heartbreaking because as much as I hate to be disappointed I also hate disappointing someone. I know she have given us more than enough time to accomplished this and yet it turn out to be so disappointing. Luckily somehow, mine’s works properly, checked some of the transistors and it works properly. I’m just so disappointed with the packaging though, no matter how much I’ve tried to fix it, the top and back case won’t just fit together. So there, it wasn’t sturdy and I end up fixing it with the aid of scotch tape. WTF? The class suddenly turns into a crazy environment, as I’m not the only one cramming to fix our own testers.


I am very very disappointed especially to myself. I know I could have done better. Sabi ko nga kay Julie, maarte ako (good way though! Lol)! Yet I end up being contended only on the standard, or worse.. the worst! I’ve learned a thing today, “Hindi sapat ang “pwede na”, in everything we do, we must give our best. On the irony of the fact that no one is perfect I guess we must face another fact that being almost close to perfection is also an option, yes it is indeed possible. And also one more thing, you will never know when and where twist of fate comes. Petty as it may seem, I guess it is something like just like what had happened to me today, I was caught of guard because I never anticipated that this will happened.

Traumatic or just a mere exaggeration, it’s up to you. For me, I set my own standards and simple school projects means a lot to me, because I know I will get the benefit of being a responsible person someday from this.

To lighten up the epicness of this day, I along with my friends decided to sit down and talked about it at Mcdo. I feel revived somehow after splurging coke float, and eating fries. And most especially goofing around with the weirdest yet the awesomess( if there’s such word!) creatures in town.. Lhei and Julie 

Anyhoo… just to bury the “I must not tell what is to be bury-haha”
We all worked hard and do our own stuff, it is too much if you just ignore the blessing that is given to you, if there is such, bonus yun. Better yet use it in a way that will lead you to grow into a better person. You have the choice whether you abuse it or not. You see, It takes more than a lifetime to fully know someone. In electronics I’ve learned that the best way to conduct current is in forward bias, because the depletion decreases, same principle applies in real life, the more you let a positive and another positive to work out, the greater the possibilities you will decrease the gap and fill in the missing holes… gap can pertains to the gap itself in achieving your goals while holes can be something that is missing in your life.


To Julie and Lhei, you guys has the slightest Idea about the last paragraph noh? *smirk* -FYI, its sarcasm