MY MOM IS SICK :(

I don't know how to start this one... Pero one thing i know... I'm sad... and this time.. i know where is this shitty feeling is coming from :(

Last Monday, after i nailed that physics exam.. Pinagplanuhan ko na, na by Tuesday, i'll do this and do that.. but unfortunately here comes the unexpected.

Tuesday. I was really in a deep sleep at my room, when suddenly I'm alarmed with what was happening in the living room.I woke up, brushed off my sleepy aura then hurriedly went outside to check what was happening. Then I saw my mom, i don't know how to described this, but when i saw her, my knees starts shaking. She was so helpless, she can barely move or spill some words because she feels so cold in a day of hot blazing summer. She's sick. I don't know why so sudden... Ang alam ko, she sneak in to my room pa early in the morning, then ask me if i'll be using my calculator.... Yes.. nagusap pa kame... if im not mistaken it was early at 5am when i got to talk to her regarding the calculator thing. God, she's so weak and i know she's in pain too. It breaks my heart seeing her like that. I spend the day taking care of her since my dad need to go back at work.
That night, i thought everything was like ok na... Bumaba na ang lagnat niya... less vomitting... she's kinda looks ok na din... that was i thought..
Then early today, we got so alarmed again, she's constantly vomitting for like every 15mins... it hurts to see my mom that way... i wish ako na lang.. kasi alam ko malakas pa ako to handle that.. She's so weak... i can barely see how much pain she feels right into her eyes... I wish na sana gumaling na siya.. Cause I'm not use to see her like that...

And another thing, i feel so damn guilty.... I have a commitment to attend today...
Supposedly today is my get together outing w/ my college friends at Nikka's place. I really wish i could go, but i can't. It is difficult to handle this kind of feeling, Sana naging mas mabuti na lang saken ang tadhana... I feel so damn guilty.. and I'm very very sorry.. last time i checked myself, I'm the one who's been very excited with this event, yet when this moment came in time, i was like the one who's telling everybody that i couldn't go. I wish that my friends would understand me... I know somehow they do. As for me, HIndi ko alam kong anung gagawin ko, just to make things up with them... specially with Nikka. I know she's upset and so disappointed at this point. God knows how i wish to be there.

Right now, i have fallen to this time of my life where in I can't be a "friend" and a "daughter" at the same time. As for now, i choose to be a daughter... Di ko kakayanin yun.. habang may sakit ang mama ko nagpapakasaya ako.:(

At this very moment I',m writing this blog. My mom is sleeping.
Get well Soon, Mama...
I love you :)