DREAM

Last night when I was about to sleep, I had a wonderful conversation with my brother. It was a typical brother and sister sharing stories at first. Like we talked about our daily lives then also we talked about our similar interest like about some public figures, things we wish to accomplish… things from our past. It was indeed a great conversation. Then all of a suddenly, we talked about our religion. I don’t know but whenever I have a chance to have a heart to heart conversation with my brother we somehow always end up talking about our beliefs. It was in the middle of conversation when suddenly I was hit by a memory of my dream from the past. I have told him about this dream before, and the last thing I remembered the first time I told him about this dream was that I was shaking and crying. I didn’t actually anticipate that all of suddenly I will feel the same last night. Kakaiba nga lang last night kasi somehow I manage to remember pa some of the details sa dream ko na hindi ko naman naalala before. I don’t know if someone can interpret this, I myself is confuse about it. I dreamed about this long time ago… siguro couple of months na rin ang lumipas, basta it was when my mom was sick, the moment which I can say the toughest battle for us. Here’s what happened to my dream.

“ I was with my friends that day, basta ang alam ko magugood time lang kame… kaso nagulat ako kasi yung pinuntahan namen parang mall pa lang na itinatayo… one thing that bothers me is that bigla na lang nawala ang mga friends ko sa scene kasi nilibot ko yung lugar mag-isa. Hanggang ngayon nararamdaman ko pa kung ano yung nararamdaman ko that time, kinakabahan at the same time confuse. Kasi yung lugar parang lumang simbahan na tinibag or ginigiba. Makikia mo yung mga upuan sa simbahan wala sa ayos, sira sira sabay parang abandoned na talaga yung lugar. Tipong nirerenovate na nga. Basta may nakausap ako dun, di ko na masyadong maalala pero sure ako ginagawang mall yung lugar na yun. Hindi ko na lubos maalala kung ano ang mga sumunod na nangyari. Ang naalala ko lang muli, eh nasa ibang lugar na naman ako, this time parang hospital di ko sure kasi para rin naman siyang simpleng apartment kung saan tanaw mo ang kalsada kapag sumilip ka sa malaking bintana. Nasa second floor iyon. Sa labas tanaw mo yung mga jeep na dumadaan. Sa may bandang gilid may matatanaw kang isang vendor ng ahas. Malinaw pa saken kung panu siya magbenta ng ahas, tumatawid tawid sa kalsada at iniaalok ang ahas… tapos maya maya sa di kalayuan may mga pulis na lumapit sa kanya… hindi ko lubos maintindihan pero parang hinuhuli ata siya? Ewan ko ang gulo. Tiyaka ko na lang muling ibinaling ang tingin ko sa loob nung mismong silid kung saan ko tinatanaw yung gulo sa labas. Duon sa kwarto hindi naman ako nagulat sa aking nakita… basta ang tanging naaalala ko lang na nararamdaman ko that time eh malungkot at nagsusumamo dahil sa kwartong iyon nakita ko si Jesus, nakahiga sa kama. Ang itsura ni Jesus eh yung itsura niya sa crucifix. Duguan ang buong katawan. May sakit siya nun at hinang hina. Mejo di pangkaraniwan ang kanyang laki. Malaki compare sa pangkaraniwan. Nakita ko rin dun na ginagamot siya ng Doctor. Actually yung doctor na gumagamot kay Jesus eh yung doctor rin na gumagamot kay mama during the time na nahospital ito. Hindi ko na maalala kung sino yung kasama kong nakabantay nung mga sandaling iyon. Basta alam ko malungkot ako. Sa ngayon hindi ko na talaga maalala ang iba pang pangyayari…”

Nahihiwagaan lang ako talaga sa panaginip kung ito. Madalas din akong makapanaginip ng may kaugnayan sa simbahan. Ewan ko kung bakit. Kakaiba talaga ang dating saken ng panaginip kong ito, kasi everytime na naaalala ko ito, nanlalambot at nanginginig ang buong katawan ko. Hindi ko maipaliwanag kung bakit. My brother just told me to pray about it. Sabi niya in time maliliwanagan din ako, wag daw akong matakot… Just pray. Sa tingin ko nga yun ang the best na dapat kung gawin. And besides alam ko kahit anu pa man ang mangayari kagustuhan yun ng Diyos…

I thought I might share this dream to you guys, I just don’t know exactly kung anu yung significance nito. Whether for future or something I have to look upon myself. Siguro one thing. We must be ready, maging handa sa lahat ng posibilidad, sa isang iglap may pwedeng mawala may pwedeng magbago, at siguro para saken hindi lang sapat ang humanap ng happiness mas mabuti kung magampanan mo yung purpose mo sa mundo.

And I just also want to include this prayer from Mama Mary’s FB page:

Dear Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me. Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you. I ask now for Your forgiveness.
Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.

Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things. Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over. Let me continue to see sin through God's eyes and acknowledge it as evil. And when I sin, let me repent, and confess with my mouth my wrongdoing, and receive the forgiveness of God.

And when this world closes in on me, let me remember Jesus' example -- to slip away and find a quiet place to pray. It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits. I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart. Continue to use me to do Your will.

Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak. Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others. I pray for those who are lost and can't find their way. I pray for those who are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray for those who don't know You intimately. I pray for those who don't believe. But I thank you that I believe.

I believe that God changes people and God changes things. I pray for all my sisters and brothers, for each and every family member in their households. I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met.

I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God. Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight. I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees them and every mouth that confesses them willingly.. AMEN.